People, in general, are idiots.
My mother, if she read that last sentence, would undoubtedly give me one of her well weathered “looks”. It's well weathered because I have a tendency to blurt out unfinished thoughts bluntly and without sufficient logic to back them up, and most of the time, I deserve the looks, and am smart to heed it by shutting my big mouth, but this time it's different, this time I've thought long and hard about it, asked opinions of several different people and spent an entire life time researching it.
I, as most of you know, am an incurable romantic. I believe there is a perfect someone out there for everyone, that true love exists, and yes, that 'happily ever after' is achievable. From this description it would be safe to assume that, paired with my occupation, as a librarian, and my love of enjoying stories I would be a devoted fan of literature and the silver screen's greatest love stories and couples,
Nope.
Can't stand them.
(I should note here that I complied this list from a sampling of several different opinions on the internet, and I don't hate all the stories on the lists. Jane Austen does, and always will have a special place in my heart, but stories like hers, although on the list, are a definite minority.)
Basically because the characters in theses stories (or at least the main guy and girl) are ridiculously idiotic. Why? Because, this being a love story, they're in love, and if stories are to be believed (they say life imitated art after all) love is neigh on insanity.
"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition until death do them part." ~George Bernard Shaw
I rarely agree with George Bernard Shaw (after all, Pygmalion, which was on some of the lists, has a rather unsatisfactory ending, although I love Freddie, I can't help but get the feeling that Eliza doesn't really love him) but here he seems to capture my thought exactly.
Now before all the other incurable romantics have me drawn and quartered let me provide evidence for my case:
Romeo and Juliet:
The mention of this Shakespearean masterpiece always seems to entice sighs from the present female company, I have no idea why. Sure, it's Shakespeare. Sure, the title characters are a cute couple, they love through family disapproval, they remain true and dedicated to each other, they are poetically, fully and deeply in love. Despite the fact that they're closer to FOURTEEN then twenty, it's adorable... that is until they both go and die because they think the other is dead. I understand that when in love at 14 one is never thinking straight but isn't it slightly ridiculous that it never crossed either of their minds to verify the information or even check for a pulse! Never mind that if the other one truly loved them that they would want them to stay alive! Some might find the “I can't live without you” sentiment to be true, but I find it a trifle uncaring, and selfish. I know I don't know what it's like to lose someone you love more than life itself, but from my own point of view if I died tomorrow the very last thing I would want my love ones to do would be to follow me. I love them, and I want them to live.
Various Couples of the Arthurian Legend:
Arthur and Guinevere and Lancelot. Ugh. I hate love triangles. The story of Camelot is one of the oldest we have, proof that the “love means I can take leave of my senses and do stupid things” excuse is nothing new. Guinevere has an affair with her husband's best friend which results in the down fall of Camelot. And her reason? Her husband was too perfect. Seriously Lady? You're excuse for bringing about the destruction of the greatest kingdom of all Myth and Lore is the annoying perfection of your royal husband, who, by the way, forgave you for ruining his life and kingdom before going of to die in the war YOU started. Oh I can totally see where you're coming from there. And Tristan and Isolde? She's married, to the man who raised him. And he dies. I really don't see how that's romantic.
Wurthuring Heights:
Both Catherine and Heathcliff marry other people who neither of them love as revenge on each other, and the then they die and become ghosts.
Gone With The Wind:
The film has rather gorgeous costumes... other than that... ugh.
Anna Karenina:
She commits suicide by throwing herself in front of a train. Pleasant.
Casablanca:
Two years later... “Oh look we've all managed to meet up in a charmingly named town and spend the rest of the movie giving each other meaningful looks and not talking about anything important.”
*close up of Ingrid Bergman crying cause she can't decide which man she loves more*
Which man will she end up with?
Her husband, or Humphrey Bogart?
And most importantly: Why Do I even care?
Believe me... I could go on and on and on about how stupid these people act in the name of love, and I just don't understand it, I guess because I'm a romantic, but a practical one. And while I understand that happily ever after isn't very practical I still don't understand why it has to go the complete other direction into death and tragedy , and why the tragic love stories are the one's society remembers and upholds as “true love”.
. How do we even know if their love was going to last longer than a week? Also, when they die, there's no point in their senseless death. Yes, their families reconcile when they die but I have a feeling eloping and bringing home an adorable grandchild a year later might have done the same. Grandparents tend to melt into piles of butter around cute babies. If they'd actually thoughts things through, it could have worked out better. Instead they make a bunch of stupid decisions, is stupidity romantic?In the heat of conversation a couple of weeks ago I declared to a friend that when one half or both halves of a couple dies I did not considered their story to be romantic anymore. At his obvious confusion at my words I've now taken time to rethink what I meant by them. You see, if a person dies to save another, it's the greatest sacrifice they can give, and that's very admirable. But I think death, as well as life, should have some type of meaning. I don't consider the death Romeo and Juliet to be romantic, somewhat because there was no life before the death, they'd known each other all of
So why is love acceptable excuse for being an idiot? Just cause one's senses are dulled with raging emotions it doesn’t mean taking leave of common sense should be considered the norm. Love is one of the reasons that make life worth living and a precious gift from God, it should be cherished -not misused.
Once, a young mother I know told me that when she and her now husband were engaged they'd stay up into the wee hours of the morning talking on the phone every night, and because of her job at that point in time she'd only get four or so hours of sleep a night before having to be up in the later wee hours of the morning, and she survived on that for a while with no bad effects. When asked for an explanation of this phenomenon she laughed and said with an eye roll “I was young and in love!” Now I'm know she didn't mean that she and her husband are no longer in love, but that it's different now, she's a mother of several young children I'm sure she covets every hour of sleep she can muster. Now that, I consider to be romantic. Yeah it was completely goofy of them to deprive themselves of sleep, their fiancee would still be there at a decent hour. Personally, I love my sleep, we're best buds, and I can not imagine giving it up willing like that, no matter how handsome and witty he is, so, for me that would be a simple, yet adorable form of crazy in love.
One of my dearest married friends reiterated the other day how uncomplicated she and her husband's per-marital relationship was compared to most people, and pointed out that nobody remembers the sweet simple couples, just the messy complicated and often horrible relationships. That lead me to ask:
Why?
Why do we as a society revel in the swirling dating lives, marriages (plural) and messy divorcees of celebrities? Is it so we learn not to repeat their mistakes, or because we find it, of all things, entertainment? This is these people's heartbreak, why should we revel in it? Why should we find Scarlett O'Hara's stealing of her sister's fiancee for his money to be “epic”? Why is Ingrid Bergman and Humphrey Bogart's kiss in Casablanca considered to be the most romantic ever when Ingrid Bergman's character is married to another man? Why isn't Albert and Victoria's loving happy fairy tale marriage as famous as Charles and Diana's dramatically tragic one? People tease me for being a romantic, but I don't really see what there is to tease about. As defined by our culture romance is... sad. Is it good that we uphold this sadness as the greatest we can have in life?
I'm still a proud romantic, and I do love a good sappy boy-meets-girl. The ones I tear up over, they aren't perfect, people make mistakes, people die, life happens. That's what I expect someday when I fall in love. I'll make mistakes, yeah, I'll say things I don't mean, and completely mess up. But if it's God's will and I'm going to do my best to steer clear from being a complete idiot. I think my guy and I, we'll be good, and it'll be my kind of romantic, basically: the non-needlessly tragic kind.
