Wednesday, August 8, 2012


My argument against God was that the universe seemed so cruel and unjust. But how had I got this idea of just and unjust? A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line. What was I comparing this universe with when I called it unjust? If the whole show was bad and senseless from A to Z, so to speak, why did I, who was supposed to be part of the show, find myself in such violent reaction against it? A man feels wet when he falls into water, because man is not a water animal: a fish would not feel wet. Of course I could have given up my idea of justice by saying it was nothing but a private idea of my own. But if I did that then my argument against God collapsed too— for the argument depended on saying that the world was really unjust, not simply that it did not happen to please my fancies. Thus in the very act of trying to prove that God did not exist—in other words, that the whole of reality was senseless— I found I was forced to assume that one part of reality—namely my idea of justice—was full of sense. Consequently atheism turns out to be too simple. If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be a word without meaning.
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Thoughts From Fireworks

I was laying on a blanket, sweating like a pig while having ash dumped on me while probably damaging my hearing by subjecting it to loud crashes and booms continuously. I was thinking about how I live in an awesome country where we celebrate by blowing things up and (because I’m a big patriotic sap) how proud I am to be an American.
As the booms vibrated in my chest and I had to squint my eyes because of the brightness of the Grand Finale I shouted to my friend “There’s nothing quite like being here!”
And it’s true.
You know how on July 5th all the newspapers will have a big front page picture of the fireworks display from the night before? The picture will be all smoky and not at all a true representation of the dazzling beauty.
Or even the night of the actual holiday they televise the display from D.C. of NYC for people who are too lazy to actually go outside and look up, and that’s not the same. Even the magic of television doesn’t even come close to making you feel like you’re there. It’s something in the tantalizing fear of explosions being set off right over your head that just doesn’t compute through electronic images.
I guess there’s just something special about a bunch of people sitting outside staring at the sky together late at night that’s magical and unique and can only really be experienced by viewing it first hand, nothing else will do.
While I was “Oooo!!” and “Ahhh!”-ing tonight I had the thought that people are a lot like firecrackers. In the grand expanse of time we are but a snap crackle and pop across the sky, we’re all different colors, and although some linger, we all fade after a time.
And just like pictures and video of firecrackers, only those watching us in person ever see our true beauty, only they will feel our heat and have their hearts moved by us.
We never see our true selves, only reflections, and yet we place so much importance in those weak and flawed reflections.

We will never know what it’s quite like, being there, watching our own self as we glow brighter than the sun.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Truth:


I really do like being alone. No, It’s not because I don’t like being with people, I love people. The reason I like being by myself is because when I’m with people I see my own weaknesses in them. When someone is rude to me I remember when I’ve been rude and I feel guilty, when someone does something stupid I remember all the stupid things I’ve done and my face burns with shame. Why did I do those things?
It’s not that I don’t like people, it’s that I just can’t stand my own shame. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Whenever People Try to Tell Me That Homeschooling isn't "Real Education" I like to Introduce them to my Sister

  • The sister who can conjugate Latin verbs.
  • She also understands Shakespeare.
  • She has most of the opera Les Miserables memorized.
  • She can name all of the 44 U.S. Presidents.
  • She can tell you the leaders of World War II from both sides, Axis and Allies.
  • She can recognize classic paintings and tell you about the artist at a glance.
  • She knows the capitols of all 50 U.S. States.
Oh and did I forget to mention: SHE JUST TURNED SIX YEARS OLD.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Ignorance is Bliss

Libraries are places of information, a place to find answers.
But take my word for it, sometimes at the library, ignorance is bliss.
Take for instants the grease stained cloth I found in the elevator shaft. The cloth shaped suspiciously like a pair of men’s boxers.
I honestly would rather not know where those came from.
Or the parents who left their two year old in the children’s department by herself and when she couldn’t find them and audibly panicked they didn’t come back for her. The child was crying for her father, and he ignored her, and believe me, he could hear her, the entire library could hear the fear in that child’s voice, and yet it fell on deaf ears as far as her parents were concerned. It was up to me to calm the little girl and take her to her parents who then barely acknowledge her existence, only to turn around and take her back over by me and leave her again.
I honestly do not want to know what that child’s home life is like. I have to remain ignorant about such things in order to continue loving my job.
I have to maintain my bliss.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

No Fooling

It’s sadly amusing to think about what my plans for today, April 1st, 2012, were. I was going to make vanilla pudding and eat it out of a mayo jar in public. I was going to sneak into the library before opening and hide all the rubber bands and pens. I was going to hack my brother’s facebook account and change his relationship status.

Now I’m avoiding going to sleep because I don’t want to think about tomorrow.

I don’t want to think about wake up early and packing the bright pink outfit I’m wearing for the funeral because pink was my Aunt’s favorite color and we’re all wearing it to honor her.

I don’t want to think about the long silent car ride to my Grandparents.

I don’t want to think about standing in line and meeting all the people who’s lives my Aunt touched with her beauty and go-get-em attitude.

I don’t want to thing about sitting there and listening to my sisters play Amazing Grace while I try to remember that my Aunt is in a better place. I know that she is in a better place, and I know that even though that’s a good thing, that I’ll be regretting never getting to tell her how much I admired her and never getting to say good bye.

I don’t want to have to be reminded all day of how really fragile life is, that you can be healthy and young one day and gone the next.

I don’t want to watch my big strong Uncle cry.

I don’t want to watch tears running down my little sister’s face and not be able to ask her questions.

I don’t want to cry myself.

But all this is going to happen on a day when I had been planing on grossing people out by fake eating mayo. Tomorrow won’t be any type of joke. There won’t be any fooling around, although in the back of all of our minds I think we’re still hoping a little bit that someone will jump out and say “Hey no worries! She’s not really gone forever! April Fools!”


But that’s not going to happen, and that’s the cruelest joke of all.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

The Hunger Games



I liked The Hunger Games movie. Like LOVED IT. Judge me all you want, but that's the truth. I've always loved the books, and did love them before they were popular and I really wanted to love the movie, and I was not disipointed. The characters were either as I imagined them, or close enough, the plot was very close to the book and the production value was AM-AZ-ING. You know what one of my favorite parts of The Hunger Games movie was? Katniss’s arena outfit. No, I’m not really the camo pants type, and I’m not huge into windbreaker jackets. But that’s just my point, nothing about her outfit was what you’d call “fashionable” or even “attractive” in fact, it wasn’t all that flattering on Jennifer Lawrence. Shockingly enough even she can’t look particularly good in a drawstring shapeless piece of plastic and baggy camos. And you know what? I LOVE THAT.

I’m sick of every single adventure or action moving requiring the lead female to strip down to a low tank top for most of the movie. I have to ask… WHY?!? That isn’t at all realistic, believe me, I’ve gone on hikes through the woods, the last thing you want to be swinging around is your own bare arms, has no one ever heard of POISON IVY?!? Apparently these characters would rather look “sexy” than actually wear sufficient clothing during their adventure.

Not Katniss Everdeen.

I realized after viewing the film that at no point during the actual Games did I ever become distracted by, or even really notice, Katniss’s clothing. Which is exactly what I believe Katniss (as a character) would have wanted. She’s all about practicality, she never wanted attention drawn to herself, and if it took wearing a plastic bag and pants the color of dead moss, she’d do it.

In a movie with a female protagonist this is a rarity. Yes, Katniss is beautiful, and somehow she gets two great guys to fall in love with her, despite her having the people skills of a turtle. But she never flaunts anything, she’d rather hide in the woods any day then show off her face, or her chest, or her anything. Because that’s not what Katniss is about. Exploiting Katniss’s body was never a point of the film or the books, and I love and support that.

I'll admit that the vast popularity of the books and movie is a little annoying to me. Most of time popularity is an automatic sign to me that I must dislike whatever it is, but with The Hunger Games I'm wondering if this popularity isn't all that bad, if maybe, just this once, it's teaching good things.

All I know is I’d rather let my daughter be a fan of a book and movie series that shows the consequences of violence with a strong female protagonist who wears a wind breaker, than a movie where a sullen teenage girl wearing a low-cut shirt falls in love with two shirtless guys.


Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Peep-O-Rama!

The library sponsors a "Peep-O-Rama" contest every spring. My fellow Librarians and I enjoy a healthily fierce competition every year to see who wins the Staff contest. My entry this year is based on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "Sherlock Holmes".


221 B Baker Street.




Mr. Peeplock Holmes himself, complete with pipe, magnifying glass and deerstalker.



Dr. John Peepson, always willing to aid a hand and be fascinated by Holmes' massive intellect and brilliant deductions.




The Sitting Room where all the brilliant crime solving is done. Accessorized with dangerous chemical experiments, maps of London and of course the infamous photo of "The Peep"



Thursday, March 1, 2012

Why Pro-Life?



I posted this link: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/healthnews/9113394/Killing-babies-no-different-from-abortion-experts-say.html on my other blog and how horrified I was by it. I received several comments that I responded to in the following manner:

Q: Why be pro-life? I mean, do you know what hyperemesis gravidarum, pre-eclampsia, and ectopic pregnancies are? Do you know how physically hellish pregnancy can be for a woman? Do you know all of the different ways that pregnancy can cause mental and emotional distress to a woman? Do you know how emotionally scarring it can be to give a child up for adoption? Or do you just not care about any of that, which proves that your views on this issue are incredibly hateful?

A: I’ve never been pregnant, but actually I know very well what a pre-eclampsia pregnancy is like, I have firsthand experience in fact. Let me introduce you to my mother, she’s given birth to nine children in nine pregnancies, three of which were pre-eclampsia, one of which was me: thus the first hand experience. So no, I’ve never been pregnant, or given birth but I have been very closely involved with my mother’s pregnancies and the births of my sibling, and I know how painful they can be. Yes, pregnancy is hellish, that I know from experience.

But you know what else I’ve been experienced? Waking up every morning the past 6 years to a pair of big blue eyes and curly blonde hair bouncing wildly as my little sister begs me to play with her. I’ve cried with joy when a couple who’s been married 10 years and were unable to have children brought home their adopted son from the hospital. I’ve had split-my-side laughing hilarious conversation with my twin cousins who were born with cerebral palsy and are some of the sweetest kindest people I know.

I can’t imagine what it would be like to give your child away, but at least your child would be ALIVE somewhere, you might feel guilty that you weren’t able to give them the life you wanted for them, but at least you gave them one. I’m pretty sure that guilt would be a lot easier to bear than the guilt of never giving them life at all.

I remember the feeling of emptiness I felt after my family lost a baby to miscarriage; it was like someone had punched me in the gut and then followed up with a series of jabs to my ribs until I couldn’t breathe. The thought of the life that never was still makes my heart ache. Why anyone would purposely bring that on themselves is beyond my realm of understanding.

The subject of abortion is a very emotional one for me because of the simple fact that I love children. As a children’s librarian at a public library I see children from all walks of life, from families that can and cannot afford them and low income and high and I can honestly say I love them all, there is nothing more beautiful to me than the potential in a young child and I firmly believe no matter what the circumstances any child has the opportunity to change the world, and will, because no life is a waste. When I read articles like the one posted earlier I feel sick, and I can do nothing but mourn, I sincerely mourn these children who were not thought as much a “person” as I am to be dignified with the right to a life. I do not hate the people who get abortions; but I do grieve the choice they made. I cry for their child even if they do not because that child deserves the dignity of someone to mourn for them and I am willing to take that burden on.

Q: That fetus could also grow up to be the next Hitler. Seriously, that rationale is so old and makes no sense. Also, no babies are involved in an abortion. Their fetuses. And if you insist on using that rhetoric, what if that woman who had been forced to undergo a pregnancy she didn't want instead of allowing her to obtain an abortion, could have made something out of her life during that time that made her the next Nobel Peace winner? That "what if" stuff is a juvenile way of arguing a point.

A: So you’re insinuating that a pregnant woman couldn’t win the Nobel Peace Prize? My 45 year old mother homeschooled 8 children, ran a business, and traveled across the United States and internationally multiple times while pregnant with my youngest sister. Let me tell you, the woman deserves some type of prize.

One thing the article proves that if we justify abortions of supposed “not babies” it’s the same as justifying the killing of a newborn. Do you consider a newborn a baby if a “fetus” isn’t one?

If so, this begs the question, when is a child no longer a newborn? At what age is this going to become illegal? When they start school? When they start a job and begin contributing to society? Before you go accusing me of slippery slope I beg you to consider where this could lead. If babies are not considered “people” what about mentally disabled people who’s intelligence level is barely above that of a baby? And if we’re including mental disabilities, what about other ones? Why not expand it to the deaf, dumb, blind and those who are unable to walk? What if they prove that people with blonde hair really are less intelligent? Does that classify them as “not people”? Why don’t we kill them off too?

Oddly enough that’s pretty much the exact thing the Nazi were doing, only at that point blondes were considered better because they coincidentally were all blonde. Not only did they kill millions of Jews they also gassed the elderly and disabled. In justifying the murders of unborn children by discounting the concept of the potential that is never given the chance to show it’s self you are in fact representing an idea Hitler himself believed.

When I say “what if” I’m asking you to consider what all the phrase “obtain an abortion” means. It means purposely deciding there isn’t going to ever be an answer to the “what ifs”. Ever. Have you ever held a newborn baby and seen the massive intelligence in their eyes? It is a beautiful feeling and one the most wonderful parts of this life.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

2012 Wante-lutions


Save $1,000 up for Le Trip of Awesome to England

Actually finish a NaNo novel

Finish my first two semesters of college with decent grades without losing my sanity

Read The Hobbit

Read all C.S. Lewis books not previously enjoyed

Keep track of all books read this year. At least 52.

Be less self-absorbed




(Because everyone and their Uncle make resolutions and I have this thing about going against what's popular. Some call it being stubborn, I call it healthy independence)

Monday, January 2, 2012

"A Ball? I long for a Ball!"

This weekend I was lucky enough to spend a magical evening with some dear friends at a Regency Christmas Ball.



We were all dressed to the nines and quite snobby about it ;P



Not everyone was overly excited to be there (or at least he claimed so with his "just shoot me now" pictures)



There were hours of lively dancing





In a beautiful hall



And some of my favorite people to chat with while nibbling on scrumptious food!




All in all we had a lovely evening of fun, beauty and elegance...



Well... mostly elegant.



We tried at least.

Quotes

 

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