People often compare life a roller coaster. Up, down, twists and turns, you go upside down, right side up, you never know what coming or what just went, a short 90 second ride and by the time you catch your breath... it's over.
A couple of weeks ago I had the most interesting experience of visiting my first real amusement park and riding my fist roller coaster, and for some odd reason it effected me deeply, and although I didn't intend to discredit "those who who know" I now disagree, let me explain:
Life experiences have ups, downs twists and turns, yes, but life, at least mine, seems to be comprised solely of impossible to make choices and then slow, and agonizingly long waits. Strange as it may sound, but during my fist amusement park visit I noticed several uncanny resemblances to my current situation.
We were lucky enough to be at Six Flags with a private party and compared to normal summer nights the park was relatively empty, and lines positively nonexistent. We had 6 hours to do what ever we pleased as many times as we wanted, a safe thrills seeker's dream come true! As I gleefully ran past long empty waiting areas, hearing horror stories of three hour waits, and of spending an entire day there only to go on a couple of rides. I freely expresses my opinion : I would never do that! I would die of boredom if I tried, and I wouldn't even try to ride if it wasn't as easy to get on as our current 10 minute wait.
And I then considered that to be true, in theory.But... I know deep down that I would wait. I would complain like crazy and regret my choice like mad, but I would study the twists and turns from afar and know that the adrenaline rush would be worth it because eventually, I would make it to the front of the line, because that's what one does. Like the patient perspective rider you see your life dreams from a distance, excited and anticipating, waiting to live them. But there's nothing you can do, you can't make life move any faster than you can make that line move any faster than it is, and no cutting in line. One is essentially powerless.
You dream of the day when you finally get to the head of the line, strapped in and then off you go! It takes your breath away, everything that was expected but nothing like it! Frightening and entertaining, thrilling and wonderful. No matter how hard you studied it from the ground, and thought Boy, that's high! when actually up there all one can think is, Boy! That IS HIGH! Then the drop... and BAM!
It's over.
You move on laughing, talking, reliving it, on to the next ride, the more wait and then the next adventure. That's the dream anyway... but that doesn't really seem like my life, with all the thrill and adventure. I'm still the person waiting in line.
I think the worst job in the world would be to work at an amusement park. Here is a group of people who spend all day watching other people have fun. The attendants move quickly in, out and around securing harnesses, wishing us, by words and actions a safe and exciting ride. Then watch us go, hear our cries of happiness, see us return, help us out and then do it all over again. It's a worse fate then those waiting in line because there's nothing for them even to wait for, because they never ride. As my favorite author once said, their "Life is a succession of busy nothings."
Yeah. That's sounds a bit like me.
I always seem to be watching the ride up close. Always seeing everyone I know getting on, but never me, never fulfilling dreams, never actually experiencing anything, only living vicariously through other people's happiness because, for some unknown reason, I'm not allowed on the ride until every thing's right. The right day, the right time, the right seat, the right person to ride with... and I don't ever see all those things coming together. Nothing is ever just... right.
I want to be able to "ride" life the way I treat an amusement park. I run from ride to ride, screaming, laughing, planning, always moving, always trying things. Not sticking to the tame thrills, but going boldly toward what scares me, and doing it several times. And when I get to the top, hundreds of feet in the air I was to be sitting with someone who I trust, who's hand I can grab and yell "This is SO frightening, but BOY is it FUN!" And most, importantly, when I leave the park I want to know that I rode every ride I could, that I did things that thrilled me with people who I care about. But first, when every things finally right I’ll get out of line, strap in, and finally go on my ride. I can't wait.
