(Drum Roll Please)

"Laaaadies and Gentleman. it is my personnel pleasure to announce to you that Lydia Margret S. has completely read her Bible in a totally in only 90 days!!"

That's right boys and girls.

All 66 Books.

All 1,173 Chapters.

All c. 30,879 verses.

And all (well mostly all) c. 968,145 words.

Lets just say I'm a little proud of myself...

Ha Ha Ha

This blog has been hacked by a dangerous ex-con who is out to destroy the blogosphere :)

P.S. it wasn't Erica


P. P. S. Love Ya Lyds

P.P.P.S. you can change your password now .

Get Ready to Laugh!

Workers Comp

Here's an accident report from the Workers' Compensation Board.

Dear Sir:

I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put "Poor Planning" as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found I had some bricks left over which when weighed later were found to weigh 240 lbs.. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the side of the building at the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 lbs. of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 lbs..

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed in Section 3 of the accident reporting form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground, and the bottom fell out of the barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs.. I refer you again to my weight.

As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope.

$1,000,000

One Million dollars. Six zeros following a one. Imagine...

I don't consider myself a greedy person, If my boss didn't remember to give me my paycheck I would forget it, and never get paid. (On that note, yesterday at work I got paid too watch movies! I love my job...)

Last night Luke and I were watching "Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader?" I knew, or guessed at most of the answers leading up to the million dollar one. The contestant won half a million, realised that the last question was on social studies and dropped out with the money. He was glad he had dropped out when they showed the million dollar question "How many men signed the Declaration of Independence?" He said he had no idea and would have guessed 53. I about exploded. I, ME, LYDIA, knew the answer to the million dollar question!!! 56!! Any dedicated National Treasure fan would know that!! (In fact, they have it wrong the whole movie and say it's 55.)

I couldn't believe it... me, who can't even do Algebra...

In fact I became so engrossed, I must not have been thinking clearly when I noticed a rather strong aroma. "What is that sicky sweet smell?" I thought out loud. When I finally pulled myself out of my wonderment, I realized that Luke was spraying a can of what he thought to be air freshener randomly and thickly about the room. The problem? It wasn't air freshener, it was hairspray.

I'm still a bit lightheaded.

Lillie!

My friend Lillie FINALLY got a blog of her own. The address is http://inlillieseyes.blogspot.com . Although due to an error on Joe and my part she doesn't have any pictures to post...
But her blog should be interesting, so check it out!

A Fairy Tale

Once a year Lyddiella is transformed from from her normalness into beauteousness by her Amazing Fairy Sisters into a sort of Princess. Accompanied by her two Marvelous Step-Sisters (we wish) Extraordinary Real Mother, she is transported to the Banquet-Ball in a Gleaming blue Coach. She arrives at the Church, eats dances with Brother Charming and leaves with both her shoes. At midnight she returns home, takes of her beautiful gown and is once again a normal peasant girl. At least for another year...

I love High School Banquet:-) Pretty dresses, good food, music, fun talk, pictures. Lots of pictures :-)

EDITED TO ADD: SLIDESHOW IS NOW AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE :-)

The Unexpected

It's not like I have an official list or anything, I doubt anyone does, but, there are certain things I never expect to do in my life, things that could happen, sure, but I'm not expecting to do them. For example, bungee-jumping, I don't think I will ever go bungee-jumping, just not me, but it's possible, that someday in the future, a wild craving for it might come upon me, and I'll go do it, then I'll scream my head off and vow never to do it again.

Like I said there's no official list but last night I realized in the past week I did two things that would be on the list, if there was one.

I never expected to watch a silent film and split my sides laughing, and last night, I did just that. True, my only experience with silent films is from watching the end of The Jazz Singer (a half talkie half silent, I thought it was dumb). That and "The Royal Rascal" from Singin' In the Rain:

"I hear a footstep."
*fights a bunch of guys and does heroic things*
"Phillipe!" *dramatic kiss for the end*

Needless to say, I've never been impressed. But last night TCM (we call it the old movie channel) was playing movies with famous train scenes in them, one was a silent from 1927 called The General about a would-be spy for the rebel army. He was the klutzy Barney Fife type who kept us laughing the whole time. Every time I laughed I was thinking, I can't believe I'm laughing, this is so corny, but it was enjoyable, and we had a nice time making fun of "Barney" and his total stereotype D.I.D. (Damsel In Distress.)

The other unexpected event in the past week was Saturday night when Mom and Dad took me out for my birthday (it's tradition to take us to a nice restaurant for our 17th.) Dad ordered Escargot as an appetiser. For you who know what that means, yes, it's snail.

I ate snail.
Still trying to get over that one...