Most of you read the Bella and Bob story that I posted on The Blank Page. I wrote that story for a writing contest that was being sponsored by the Library. I entered this same contest last year and won 2nd place. (Not a big achievement, there were only 6 or so entries.) The contest went all summer but I just couldn't get an idea for the life of me. I was taking a writing class and I really felt my skill improve as the summer progressed. Finally the day after the last class, 4 days before the deadline for the contest, I had a flash of inspiration, and out of that came Bella and Bob. I worked very hard on the story to get in done in time, staying up late, e-mailing people for opinions. When I was done, and turned it in, I was happy. Bella and Bob was much better than the story I'd written for the previous contest and I was confident of winning something. Karina (the Librarian in charge of the contest) had even told me a couple weeks earlier that there were hardly any entries as it was. I even considered not entering, because it wouldn't seem fair to win just because there was no one to beat. But Mom convinced me to enter and I did, feeling quite confident.
Yesterday was the morning Karina said she was going call the winners. I stayed relatively close to the phone all morning. By the time 11:30 had rolled around I decided that Karina had known I was coming into work today and was going to save a phone call and tell me later. Unless I didn't win... I ended up having a debate with myself.
No Lydia, bad thought, bad thought! But hey, it could happen, you're not a sure-in or anything. But B&B was really good! Remember that Sara (friend of mine who won last year) entered something too. Maybe I should just keep my options open... Be prepared for both.
So I imagined what it would be like to lose, it was a very brief thought, imagining winning was much more fun. I had my post all written out in my head about how the Olympics having so many medals, but my writing contest ribbon being just as special to me. By the time I got to work I had everything but the punctuation worded out. After about half an hour I worked up the courage to ask Karina, a funny feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach.
If you hadn't already guessed, I didn't place at all. They even added a third place because there were so many last minute entries.
My friend Sara won and the 2nd and 3rd place entries were written by high schoolers I recognized from the community. I seriously felt like I got hit with a pile of bricks.
I was somehow able to keep a fake smile on my face and act like it was fine and the contest meant absolutely nothing to me. I continued with my job trying hard not to cry and telling my self what an idiot I was for being so confident.
I hope you don't think I was being proudful when I thought I could win, I don't think I was, I was just being my optimistic hopeful self, with dire consequences.
Of course right after my dreadful news I stared to feel really sick, I hadn't felt well all week and have been having bouts of stomach trouble, and of course then it had to hit full force.
You know how sometimes you come out of a situation and you realize "Hey! That was a trial! I got through it! At least it's over now." Well this was different, The second I started to feel sick I knew this was a tribulation I was going to have to work through, I knew I had to keep a smile on my face, I knew I had to pretend I felt peachy-keen and be happy when all I wanted to do was go home and lay and my bed and cry on my Mommy's lap.
But I realized I'm 17 years old and I had to work through it like a woman. That next hour was pretty bad, I was feeling so sick I couldn't concentrate on the computer screen, partly because of blurred vision and partly because my brain refused to remember how to check a book out. Of course in that hour all the most annoying library patrons had to come in.
But I kept going, I refused to cry and I plastered on the fakest smile imaginable. After an hour my medicine started to kick in and I became so busy I didn't have time to be "woe is me"-ish.
On my break later that day I picked up People magazine to look at a article about Steven Curtis Chapman (that is the ONLY reason I would read that magazine, don't worry.) Mr. Chapman lost his 5 year old daughter a few months ago in a tragic accident. As I read the article I felt really guilty, this poor family is morning the lose of a little girl and I'm blubbering about a contest. I should be thankful I'm alive. At the same time I felt special that God cared about my little disappointment, even if it was silly.
So I'm not quite sure were this is going, I'm still not as happy as I should be. But I'm peaceful and submitted to God's will. Who knows, maybe my losing this contest is some great test, and someday I'll look back and realize this was a turning point in my life. I don't know. But I am able to say this:
I'm thankful I lost the contest because it gave me an opportunity to submit to God's will and be happy about it, even when I really really didn't want to.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Trials, Tribs, and Trying to be Thankful for Them
Friday, August 1, 2008
Introducing...
Click Link for details :-)
EDITED TO ADD: To make "The Blank Page" safe I set it up so only people I invite can go on. I sent everyone I could think of an invitation. If I forgot you please comment and I'll send you an invite right away!
Monday, June 30, 2008
Poem Sweet Poem
We discussed this poem in my creative writing class today. At first I thought it was odd, it not rhyming and all, but after discussion it's humor appealed to me. It was written by a Doctor who wrote his poems on prescription cards (thus the rather short lines) while he waited in between his patients. I love how it has the "note stuck on the refrigerator" quality to it.
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast.
Forgive me,
they were delicious,
so sweet
and cold.
Please comment and let me know what you think!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Post One Hundred and Sixty-Six
What makes you want to comment?
What would you like me to do on my blog?
What more of?
What less of?
Any Ideas?
What annoys you on my blog?
Is there anything I should change?
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
What's up with me lately???
"Your in Cranford now, Dr. Harrison."Sue Thomas
and
One word: Roger!
(Let's just say I suffer from a MAJOR case of writer's block...)I've been playing/singing...
From Prince of Egypt
Monday, March 3, 2008
Grammar, To Being or Not to Being
Remember the English assignment from the beginning if the school year?? Well I've written more assignments since then, but nothing too interesting. Last week's chapters assignment was to write a piece supporting a subject, but completely mean to oppose it. I was to write something by meaning something else. It's an interesting venue of the written word. Although often used in sarcasm, C.S Lewis used it in his classic "The Screwtape Letters" which I am currently reading. By writing from the view of a demon, and through that trying showing evil to be good he was actually showing how sickly evil, evil really is! I'm not aspiring to be be C.S. Lewis, but when I learned this venue was to be used in my assignment I decided to enjoy it by attack a pet peeve of mine, (a pet peeve I am ashamedly guilty of..) BAD GRAMMAR!
Hey’s me is so happy your is reading this here wrote paper. I is written it to speaks to all you that good grammer ain’t worth at all the work and trouble and all that. You who wants to messy with pronouns and nouns and verbs and proper tenses. Why you worry about the difference in seen and saw? What matters is it was looked. Was were what were the problem with it if it was that a way or were that way. Past present and future make none big deal, ain’t they the same? and in that there thought whats with capitalization and punctuation all big trouble i’s say I could be ,any trouble to figure which of whole much tenses to use when you is written when you’s could just wrote what you feels like and let the reading person figure out what you’s meet hisself that’s how come i’s going to being start a club for non-grammulacerists calling
“grammer ain’t worth it none”
Care’s to join i?
“grammer ain’t worth it none” is a corperation of “spillin shud bee otlaud”
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Choices, Narnia and Bleak House
During our 3 night viewing our family discussed the moral of the story. We came to the conclusion that it was a story of choices. The whole story comes to be because a women makes a wrong choice, a morally wrong choice. Because of that choice, our heroine is born. So if she had made the right choice we would have no story, right? So was it actually the right choice? We'd have no story if not, and what about all the people our heroine helped and blessed in her life??Well of course not, but the question comes.... What if???
This reminds me of one of my absolute favorite passages in C.S. Lewis's The Chronicles of Narnia books. Price Caspin Chapter 10:
What choices we make we can not change, we make them in a split second, and the wheels are set in motion. Whether good or bad they are made and can not be changed. How ever small, they might have much significance. Will anyone's life be changed by me posting this today? I should think not... but you never know. Is it right? Wrong? Somewhere in between? It's confusing, and frustrating, but what is certain is that God gave us free will, and the only thing one knows they can do right is to listen to the Holy Spirit and try to do God's will in everything...
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Inspired by a True Story
For English this week I was assigned to, "select one lesson I'd 'learned' or began to learn, as the result of a specific incident and write on it ." In other words, think of some dumb thing I did and write a story on it. Sadly quite a few blunders came to mind. I settled on the one below and finished my final draft this morning. Since you all like to tease me, I figured I could give you some material. BTW, I changed a few names to protect the innocent:-)
An Ordinary Piece of News... ~L.M.S.
…Told with the normal straight face and level voice. Sure, she was smiling, but anyone would think that was due to the fact that she was relating a pleasant article of intelligence, one I had been hoping would happen. As she would know, I believed her.
Later that day I told my sister with excitement.
“Lucy is going to be in my grade!”
“Really?” Deb seemed quite perplexed. “Why isn’t she going to graduate this year? Poor Girl. Who told you?”
“Mrs. S., Lucy’s mom told her. Lucy’s so much fun, I’d be sorry to see her go this year. I think she just wasn’t ready to leave home yet. Now we have two more play years together.”
My sister seemed satisfied with my information, but didn’t share my excitement; she was more prone to pity. Now, I’m not a person to gossip or to spread unconfirmed rumors, but I was excited that one of my favorite home school friends wasn’t going to move off sooner than I was ready for, so I shared it with a few people. All asked about the same questions as my sister, I was never doubted though, because I had it from an irreproachable source.
Now I wish I’d kept my big mouth shut, especially at Track a few days later.
“So Lucy…” I said as soon as I’d caught my breath after catching up to her. “I’m so pumped about the next two years; we’re going to have so much fun!”
“Yeah, I guess so,” She gasped as we rounded the turn. “I’m nervous about my senior year; I hope I don’t get a huge part, or a lot of lines.”
“Oh don’t worry,” I steered around a puddle from the recent rain. “You and I still got a whole year till we got to worry about that, it’s only our Jr. Year.”
A puzzled look crosses her face. That should’ve been ample warning for me but I plunged on.
“Yeah, I was practically giddy when I heard we were going to be the same grade, I couldn’t believe-“
“Lydia, what ARE you talking about?” She abruptly interrupted me and considerately slowed her gait. “Are you graduating this year with me? I’m a senior.”
“What?” I stopped altogether. “But… I… Didn’t… oops.” I suddenly felt quite warm and could sense my face reddening. “Oh, never mind, just ignore me.” PLEASE, I added under my breath. Thankfully just then the coach cautioned us to keep up with everyone else and hurry.
*****************
“Lillian Mae, did or did not your mom tell me Lucy was doing her Jr. Year again, thus coming back to my grade?”
“You mean about last week?” She gave me “the look.” “Don’t tell me… It was a joke, you knew that didn’t you? You believed her?? Lydia!”
“No further comments at this time.” I responded miserably to her pealing laughter.
As I set about setting all the people straight that I’d misinformed I was thankful I hadn’t told too many friends. I reflected on how gullible I could be, definitely something to work on. I now knew I needed to not believe quite everything I heard.
Monday, September 3, 2007
In Anticipation of a Most Happy Return
