FREE ADVICE!!!! Episode 2

Let's say you want to read "The Hound of the Baskervilles". Maybe you want to read it because you like Sherlock Holmes, or just like mystery in general. Maybe you read it because it's a classic and you thought it would be smart to have it under your belt. Maybe you just saw it on the library shelf and thought. Aww, why not?

Let's say you progress through the book at a good pace, remembering how much you like Dr. Watson and how much Sherlock Holmes's stuck-up brilliance drives you nuts. The mystery has you totally mixed up and you have no idea what's going on. Finally one night you snuggle in bed hoping finish the last few chapters and find the solution to the perplexing problems all before falling asleep.

Let's say you decide tonight would be a fun night to try to read by candle light. (This is something you've wanted to try for forever.) You realize, to avoid hurting your eyes too much you must hold the candle chest high with one hand, and hold your book the same height with the other hand, that way shining the best light possible on the page.

Let's say, for pure amusement's sake, that as you get to the climax of the book (right where the huge hound is chasing the nice guy through the foggy moor) you absent-mindedly lean forward.

Let's also say that your candle has been burning for a long time, and while giving off a warm steady glow has also been accumulating a pool of melted wax below the flame.

Let's say as you lean forward in anticipation your hand tilts too and the nicely pooled melted wax shifts and ever...so slowly... drips down the side of the candle.

Let's say, just for fun, that you are sitting cross legged in Indian style. So the dripping hot wax just might hit your ankle, which just happens to be bare. May I remind you this is very hot wax.

Let's say, although completely engrossed in your book, (thus the leaning) you do become distracted by the burning hot wax hitting your innocent bare leg.

Let's say it's possible that, gives the suddenness of the distraction, and the intensity of the book you overreact a tiny little bit. You shriek, throwing your book in the air.

Let's also say, since wax is hot it therefore presents a burning feeling, which is painful. You therefore hop about the room on one foot trying to get the hardening wax off your other ankle.

Let's say it's still early enough so that your family hears your yells and comes rushing to your room prepared for the worse, only to find a shame-faced girl. When they see this girl they roll their eyes and sigh.

On the other hand... let's say not say that. It's late and nobody hears.

Let's say you get the wax off your leg, turn your bedside light on, blow out the candle and sensibly finish your book (there was a reasonable explanation, as there always is.)

If this hypothesis was not just "let's say" but the gospel truth, let us hope that you go to sleep a wiser person.

Let's hope.